What Comes Out When Life Squeezes You?

And trust me when I say I know what it's like to make your own life difficult. Does your life feel like Groundhog Day on repeat? Welcome to the Eye of the Hurricane Podcast. Want to quickly learn something about yourself? Just grab an orange. So it was two decades ago that Wayne Dyer used this analogy, and it has always stuck with me. And the question is if I squeeze this orange, what comes out? And the obvious answer, orange juice. But what if I drop it or I step on it or I throw it against the wall? It's still orange juice. And that's because the source of the pressure changes, but the actual result with orange juice coming out doesn't because that's what's on the inside. So here's where that orange analogy gets really interesting. When life squeezes us, what comes out? So I'm talking about everyday things that we endure. So we go to work and someone cuts us off. Or we go to the restaurant and our order comes out wrong. Or our spouse, who knows us so well, pushes that one button. The last one, you could call customer service because your $297 disappeared, and poor Judy from Seven States Away answers the phone. Remember, Judy didn't take your $297, but she might find out what's on the inside of your orange. So I don't mean that judgmentally, but it can be eye-opening to notice what comes out of us and what comes out of the people around us. So we usually focus on whatever applied the pressure. That's where the blame goes. He made me angry. She made me lose my patience. That situation ruined my entire day. And maybe someone really did something wrong. But there's still a question that's worth asking. And that is why did that particular situation get the reaction out of us that it did? So here's the first part of the self-test. Think about the last three times that you were frustrated. What came out? Did you get sarcastic? Did you get defensive? Did you totally shut down? Did you make sure that everyone in the room knew that you were having a bad day? Or was it the opposite? Were you calm? Did you find some humor? Did you start looking for a solution? Because positive things come out just as much as negative things when we're under pressure, depending on how you're wired. So some people are the ones that will say, hey, we'll figure it out while everybody else is in panic mode. So pay close attention to that because it's important. Sometimes watching other people helps us see ourselves more clearly, too. When you hear somebody that all of a sudden is being short with a waiter or waitress, and you think, is that how I sound when I'm frustrated? There's there's a piece of that that's self-awareness. Or you see somebody handle a situation with patience and grace, and you think, I'd like to get better when it comes to doing that. So it's easy to notice a reaction in somebody else. The useful part is remembering to ask, do I do that too? So here's the second part. And this one takes a lot of courage from all of us. And that is ask somebody who really knows you and will be honest. Your spouse, your best friend, someone who has seen you when things aren't going your way. Ask them. Say, when I'm stressed or I'm frustrated, what comes out of me? And then try not to defend yourself. And that can be hard, right? So we just listen. And that's easier said than done. If their answer is you get defensive, you might think, hey, I just get focused. They might experience you as being more controlling, or you might think that you're difficult under pressure. And they say, you know what, you get stressed, but you're always making sure that everybody else is okay. So all of that lives inside of the orange, too. So one thing that's worth noticing, though, is does your reaction change depending on who's squeezing you? So there's times we can be patient with a stranger, and then we snap at the person that we love over almost nothing because sometimes the people that are closest to us, they get a version of us that we'd never show somebody at work or out in public. So we both know human beings and oranges, human beings are far more complicated. And one bad reaction, for example, doesn't tell the whole story of who we are. We do get tired, we get overwhelmed. Um, how much pressure is on us actually matters. But if we keep seeing a pattern and keep seeing the same reaction, then we can decide whether or not we have something to work on. So maybe that means we'll be catching ourselves before we get sarcastic, or we're going to take a minute before we respond. Or we'll go back and we'll say, you know what? I I talked to you in a certain way and you didn't deserve how I spoke to you, right? That's that self-awareness piece that I think we all strive to have. But unlike the orange, we can change how we respond next time. So the next time life squeezes us, don't only look at what applied the pressure. Pay attention to what actually came out because we don't have to beat ourselves up about it. We just have to be honest enough to notice and curious enough to ask whether that's a response we want to keep having. So appreciate your time. If you've got any thoughts, please leave them. Thanks for joining.